Sunday, April 1, 2012

Meeting Mr. Vasquez




Lemme drop some post-structural bullshit on ya'll. The point is: 'what doesn't deserve coherent'.

There was a jaunt out to the Emerald City Comic Con today for the express purpose of going to Mr. Vasquez’s panel. $30 for an hour of him talking? That was a little steep but you know, big city doings, living life, no regrets(!!!), ect.

Side Note: In regards to all those quotes about once a person is dead then they only can regret things they didn’t do / Live life (whooo!) / Express Your Soul In Loving Action: Eat Shit. Should be easy because you are full of it.

No offense Punisher


To those who didn't and don't know like me: don’t bother buying the ticket in the first place. Was I worried about the interspersed old folks who were pretending to scan the badges of the dozens of people flowing by them every second? I assumed security would be… present. Like they would take it seriously. Also: the show is a glorified shopping event. The thirty gives you’re the privilege to buy over-priced goods?

I love you!


Chunky girls strutting around, face just bubbling giggles whenever anyone looks at them. Paris is Burning. Your ass is your entire back. You aren’t celebrating any culture here, you’re appropriating a theme and a place to showcase your self-centered narrative. Dye from a can that only partially covers the hair. Kids, sometimes there are no poor man substitutes. Sometimes you should stay inside. The ever present Storm Troopers. Quality work fellas. Work in a dance number for the next go ‘round.



Tables and tables of books and books. This is what excites? Have I found the titillation? Wares that can be purchased on any normal day, in any number of others places, but today they are here! And they cost more. I’ve been fucking robbed! I paid to get into a mall!

It’s a new shopping experience. Flowing. No chance to pause for a look. This is a ride. See the currents? I am studying humanity. Gross, misfit, self-indulgent. Whee! Where’s the Topatoco booth? Seeing something that was real, then posted on to the internet(s), now is real in front of my eyes! It blurs my perception. I’m not used to this “real” stuff. Feels fake. Like Bluray movies.

PHOENIX JONES!!!! PHOENIX!!!! JONES!!!! PHOENIX JONES!!!!



So Mr. Vasquez starts off by declaring that Q and A style panels, for him, are always awful. Then, several dozen oblivious, posturing, losers line up to make his statement as factual as humanly possible. All questions were submitted in accordance with the following template: I am super cool, wicked strange, and crazy dangerous for reading and liking your books - Here is a question that demonstrates my profound ignorance of even the core ideas of your work. Shit wasn’t even rendered in comprehendible English in most cases.

But what is cool has to be cool. I made real something that was not. Also, “Jh” is “J” in Spanish. I would have paid sizable quantities of money on it being a “Y” sound. Seattle, as a whole, was in on that game with me.



Hustle hustle, run run. You see these strides? I’m a be WAITING for Vasquez when he gets back to his booth to sign. Oh! There’s already a line so long you aren’t lining up people anymore? Cool… Here’s another quote to live by: don’t throw good money after bad. I was home eating pizza and mac’cheese in the time it would have taken me to be turned out from the convention for it closing with no memento.

This picture was almost good!

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