Showing posts with label Captain America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Captain America. Show all posts

Monday, May 19, 2014

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Cap is in some tough straights. His first film was of decided low ambition. It was fantasy thriller. By which I mean the characters gestured at some vague political message while punching each other. His role in the Avengers is easily overlooked, as his super powers don’t yet seem active and he became a naive idealist following World War II…  Wellp, someone fixed all that. Cap shoulder checks his critics and rallies the faithful around a something they can say “That’s why I love the Cap!”

I mean, Ok, a genuine political thriller it is not. But Cap 2 is a lot smarter about what to use. Absurd Nazi scientists are given minor roles before being mercilessly stomped out of canon. Most of the weaker story elements are carry-overs from the comics. They feel like ritual homage. Cap 2 doesn’t celebrate its comic history as much as pass it like a kidney stone. It wants to be better, smarter, but is saddled. It does its best to setup the factions and technology with modern sensibilities but when the punch line is “brainwashed Russian solider”… How is that ever going to feel rational? Larger themes come half-way to respectable. Issues like government overreach born out of zero oversight are hot. Again, the film does so much to come at these ideas honestly but in the end the comic booky-ness steps in and says “Helicarriers with, like, A THOUSAND GUNS!!!”.

Here’s what’s cool and will blow your mind. Captain America actually has badass super powers. I think the highlights from the first movie were 1) Cap running 40mph and 2) Him punching a car window. In The Avengers he nearly died fighting, what, six aliens? Fighting one brainwashed agent with a gun was touch and go. It’s every little thing here. His morning run is something to behold. And no matter how many times its Cap vs a squad of elite soldiers with guns, he makes it fresh. He rampages. I’m watching these sequences in theater wishing so badly I could rewind to see it again. I’m very nearly shouting in my seat. There is not a single bad action piece in the movie. They just get better. I don’t buy movies to own anymore. I see a lot so it’s always “on to the next one”. I cannot wait to rewatch The Winter Soldier. Everything was done Right. He fights like a soldier. But he moves with power well beyond human levels.

That feeling of Rightness is what I found so compelling. Finally, the potential of the concept is realized. Not only the fighting. The relationship between Cap and Black Widow is dramatically different. It’s apparent in the trailer. These characters aren’t a few special effects on top of a stream of shitty one-liners. They’re much more human than other characters in any Marvel movie. The banter is fun, not filler. There isn’t Dead Time. Those moments between major set pieces. If Cap and Widow are going to talk, it’s an honest talk with purpose. When they’re traveling, it’s with style. Even Nick Fury! Who has been the greatest disappointment to me in each film. It’s Samuel L. Jackson! Why is not doing anything Samuel L. Jackson would do? Well, now he does.

Same with Falcon / Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie). I thought he was going to get his abrupt little origin. Cap would give him a high-five so audiences would know he’s a good guy. Go see his movie whenever that comes out. No. Captain America does the unthinkable in an action / superhero movie and makes use of its supporting cast. Falcon is integral. What’s more, Mackie is supremely comfortable. He doesn’t try to get a mini Me Too action moment. Or be the funny guy. Or whatever one dimensional archetype. He elevates the movie through simple, authentic, acting. Who the fuck would have thought more actors in a superhero movies would make it stronger?

For my money, Captain America is wearing the crown as far as Superheroes go. Forget Avengers 2 or hoping for another Iron Man movie. What I most want is Cap 3. The universe building was so smart that I hope, so much, that the writers can transition away from the camp (crap) that is holding back Cap from becoming a legitimate movie. ‘Cause The Winter Soldier wasn’t just good comic book movie, it was straight up Good. Restoring my faith the genre won’t become a parody of itself. Contenting itself with lazy plots so long as there is gratuitous fan service to ward off criticism.

(Note: I didn't directly talk about the Winter Soldier because he fits into the "lousy comic book elements" paragraph and the "hype fighting" one. So, there.)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Ain't No Stoppin' The Cap'n

This Avengers vs X-Men is nonsense. Any single member of the Avengers can beat every X-Man. Captain America especially.

First, All the X-Kids? I throw my shield, bounce it off all their heads and turn 'em all into Super Powered Vegetables.

vs Cyclops? Please, you know what counters eye-lasers? A shield. Oh, you been fighting giant robots since you were a kid? I've been stomping faceless nazi ass since before you're mother had tits. DONE. Who else ya got?

vs Colossus? Ok, you do the steel thing but you still can't fight. I'ma drop your ass in the ocean, see that fat ass sink. When you power down and come up to catch your breath, all your gonna catch is a shield to the dome, NIGHT NIGHT!



vs Kitty Pride (Shadow Cat)? You can't even hit anybody!? I'll tell you what, I'll do you last so you can see all your friends get the shit kicked out of them.

vs Beast? Be smart here. Just lay down. There ya go. Sleepy time.

vs Nightcrawler? I'm a world class tactician! You do three BAMF Bullshits, I'll get your pattern, you'll be sucking my fist. Next!

vs Namor? Necksnap.

vs Magneto? Here, hold my shield. Oh you can stop that? How about my leather boots and gloves? No? Get your ass beat old man.

vs Storm? Ohhhhh! Some rain!? How scary. Rain, sleet, or snow this train is still pulling into station! Train being my fist. Station, your face.

vs Emma Frost? Go 'head, invade my mind. Psychic me will tear your up just as bad as physical me. And I'll grind your diamonds up with my teeth.

vs Psylocke? Glowly blades? Get serious. (Psylocke knows in her heart that the Captain is right. She sets off right then to train with all the masters of the universe. She dies never becoming a worthy opponent.)

vs Xavier? (Xavier psychically pleads with the Captain to stop his unstoppable assault) Hey chief, invasion of my mind is tantamount to invasion of America. Yeah, you just declared war on the US. (Cap flips Xavier's chair and makes ready to stomp out all Xavier's silly ideas, but can't bring himself to wail on a cripple who's crying)



vs Gambit? (Normally, Cap is a good sport and let's the X-Dorks at least use their powers. But such is his disgust with Gambit that the face he makes to express that disgust turns the Great Plains brown. Without allowing the Southern Slob a single twitch of his body, Cap grabs Gambit by his greasy hair, hurls him into the ground, whereupon Cap proceeds to pulp and liquefy his body. Afterword, Cap takes Gambit's signiture pole and javelins it into the sun. Cap is again the good sport and allows the other mutants a small reprieve while he washes his hands in one of the great lakes of upstate New York. The lake is transformed into the most polluted body of water on the planet.)


vs Iceman? (Cap takes a full force ice blast to his chest. No effect. Cap gathers up some snow and ice, chucks it at Iceman at barely under super-sonic speed, turning to find his next match before Drake hits the ground.)

vs Shadow Cat? (Cap stares her dead in the eyes) The second you come out of this phasy bullshit, I will be there, and I will rain down more pain than all the mutants in all the alternate realities, compounded by any and all Age of Apocalypses, have ever felt. Just know that. (Kitty Pride never again becomes corporal and dies of starvation)